As for you…

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your relationship, is your business.

At this day and age I have been observing some things that are bothering me.  I am not a relationship guru, nor am I a psychology major.  I am simply a female who can decode other females from experience and observation.  some females are better at mind games than others.  After a friend has come to me with a problem, I felt the need to write about it.  There is no need for me to explain my writing, what she has found herself going through, can easily be understood by reading this.  

Friend,

You may think she has an advantage over you.  She may think she has an advantage over you.  The truth, she does not.  Something was not working out with them, so that is why there is no them.  As you said to me, she broke up with him.   She is going to try to get back what she gave up as she sees him move on with his life.  

Crazy

As she will try to ruin the relationship that you have with him, she will just ruin the relationship she has left with him.  Let the craziness take its course.  Stay calm.  Be the girl who originally attracted him.  Do not stoop down to her level.  You think he likes that some girl who broke his heart keeps calling him. You think he likes that this girl keeps tweeting about him.  You think he likes that this girl is telling her friends to start stuff with you.  People do not like the drama.   Guys think girls like this are not worth their time.  Save the craziness for marriage.

The same boat 

I may have said you and I are in the same boat, but I am not sure that we are.  At this point, I do not continue to carry the same fear that you do.  Instead, I carry a feeling of sorrow.  I am sorry that you have to go through this.  I am sorry, she feels this way about the two of you.  In the end, you do not need to go through this.  Do not go through crazy high school drama, because girl, you already graduated.

You may want to stay and fight.  Showing her, you have him now.  I can tell you, you will drive yourself crazy; you may be a stronger fighter than I am, but I still say do not do it.  He is not worth it.  Your sanity is worth more than her petty drama.  She will think she is being cute, and winning, by staging things to get his, and your attention.  You will try to find if her lies are the truth.  To go through this, you will need to get to know him and have a strong amount of trust.

Keep in mind, her goal is for you to leave him.  That is the fight.  That is the win.  You have him, she does not want you to be with him.  Do not give into her fight.  you have what she does not.  She wants you to think otherwise. 

If things get too rough and she causes too much to your well-being, leave.  Break things off with him.  Go get a massage, get your hair done, buy some new heels, and go dance.   He will more than likely become angry with her that she caused harm to his new relationship. This will more than likely be the end of them completely.  As she will realize wow I was stupid, as for you, you will realize how smart you were.  The drama and problems she causes for you, will cause more problems for them.

Even if he does decide yeah, my past is much better than my present, let him go.

People cannot just decide I do not want to be in a relationship with you, but now since somebody else does want you, I want you.  In the end, she does not really want him.  She just does not want anyone to have his attention.  She does not understand why he is suddenly going after you and not her. She wants to play games.  You cannot play games at this age.  You have grown, passing that time.  Be the bigger person.  Be mature.

Preach

Practicing what you preach is always the hardest part.  This is not a game of who wins.  Some girls make it out to be, but as I stated, we graduated high school.  The games are over.  This is real.  She will try to make it seem as if it is a competition, when in reality it is not.  If you do decide to stick with him and give him the attention that he gives you, focus on one thing.

She can go talk about you, call him, or try to hang out with him, but at the end of the day, with whom does he spend his time.  Focus on your future.  If he does want her, he will go to her.  Nothing that you can do will change it.  Focus on your future.  What do you want? Where do you see yourself? What do you need to do to get there?

Lay Low

I am not saying that you cannot update the world of your relationship on social media, but you should not.  Do not keep the world updated how things are going, and keep your post to private.  The last thing you need is her Facebook stalking you to find out when you were last with him and how things are going.  If you do not update her on your relationship via social media, she may just go crazy in her own thoughts.  Give her the time to heal.  She may have broken up with him, but nobody wants to see their past loving their future.  Cherish the time and attention he gives you.  Let him see that you truly are better than she is, and that real women do not act like that.

Boys come and go; there are things that are more important than he is.  When the time comes that you do break up, let him go.  Do not try to stay friends; do not care about his next relationship.  Move on.  Go make new friends, go explore, and start dating someone else.  Maybe you will sit back and think wow I miss him, he was so good to me, but I want somebody else.  Do not try to hold on to him and keep something going while you are trying to date somebody or while he is dating somebody.  If she puts you through all this, from my observation, she will, remember how it felt.  Do not make another girl go through this as well.

I hope this helps,

Katie Easter

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